Mia's Story

Building trust with a new family.

Mia and her best friend came to America when she was five. Until then they had lived in an overcrowded orphanage in China where there was little to eat and attention was hard to come by. Her first night in America, Mia slept with a piece of bread under her pillow in case there wasn't food the next morning. Sadly, three years later, the American family that adopted the girls decided that it was not working out with Mia. The state searched for a new home.

After a short transition period, Mia moved in with her new mom. Karen had three older adopted daughters from different countries around the world. Mia was happy to have her own bedroom and she loved the two cats that lived in her home.

Karen understood that it would take Mia some time to settle into her new international family. Cultural differences were celebrated within the family, and Karen enrolled Mia in Chinese dance and language classes. She also found a Chinese-American woman who could help mentor Mia.

Her new mother noticed that Mia continued to struggle in some areas of her life. She had a hard time making friends, threw extreme temper tantrums, and often didn't seem happy, and Karen wondered if Mia's adoption was a factor in her daughter's challenges.

I met Mia as her therapist when Karen brought her to Kinship House. Although it was important to talk about Mia's current problem behaviors, it was also important to talk about her past eight years of memories and losses. Through therapy with Mia and Karen, Mia was able to share her young sad memories of China and her insecurities and lack of trust in a family. After several months, both Karen and Mia were able to feel better connected to each other. In time Mia was able to learn to trust that she would never have to move again. Sometimes past memories can get in the way of loving and living in the present, even when you're only eight years old.